life goes on…

and on and on and on 𝒶𝐧𝕕 𝒕𝕙𝜶𝙣𝕜 ց𝞸𝞸d𝗇℮𝑠𝕤 ꞙ𝒐ᴦ 𝑡𝚑a𝐭 I give up on myself way too soon more often than I’m proud to say but as I do pride myself on honesty I am admittedly lackadaisical by nature and will usually choose the path of least resistance (and effort). The toughest trials in […]

Therefore I am

I’m right. You’re right. We may not see eye to eye. Heck we may completely disagree and have polar opposite views and/or ideas but that doesn’t deem either of us wrong. Oh and Franky – he has a set of beliefs that are incongruent with both of the ways we see this dilemma, discussion, idea, […]

Progress not Perfection

One small step for MY SANITY, one giant leap for THE REST OF MY LIFE. You weren’t my first thought upon waking up this morning, you were like my 43rd thought which means you crept into my brain about 5 minutes after I got out if bed.. thats mighty generous time wise because my thoughts […]

think yourself confident

Sometimes you’ve got to fake yourself out. I’m fortunate enough to know that I’m rad, now. And these are the kinds of things I tell myself so that I do. My life sucks. I’m still happily me. I’m a hot mess, my life is upside-down due to things out of my control, but I am […]

0.sixteen – secrets

My boost in energy the past few days, which I think was due to my wonky work schedule, has come an end. At work today I heard an awesome song that has so many great lines. I feel like she’s telling my story and my change in attitude from constantly worrying about what other people […]


I Am Your Disease You know who I am, you’ve called me your friend,Wishes of misery and heartache I send,I want only to see that you’re brought to your knees,I’m the devil inside you, I am your disease. I’ll invade all your thoughts, I’ll take hostage your soul,I’ll become your new master, in total control,I’ll […]

page 1 – tell / page 2 – show

Watching a new (new to me) show Crazy Ex Girlfriend and it is full of really poignant life lessons and introspective realizations while still being lighthearted and hilarious. I have a love-hate relationship with the main character and the story-line is my worst nightmare come true and biggest insecurity in my own relationship so it […]

Recovery bLog poSts

4th Floor Accomplishments Take.One Day 14 – can you hear me nowDay 15 – over itDay 16 – betterment Day 18 – capriciousDays 19-21 – circumstantial footprintDay 22 – revised silhouette I won’t regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be. Kate Nash, merry happy renewed opportunity I’d rather be working […]

0.7 – iNaNe fLaiR

siLLy abiLitypoINtless INstINctabsUrd geniUsfatuouS SkillS Me.I can type. I can write. I can type what I write. bLogging!weBlog…onLineaccount…networkeDrecorDs…CyberspaCeChroniClesI like words. I like to throw out some random nexus of thoughts bouncing around my brain for you to enjoy, judge, copy, and/or be inspired by. Purpose. Happiness is where my mind is at. I am happy […]

ready…. set….

My life is a semi-pretty mess right now and in the past 3 years I’ve experienced some of the hardest trials I’ve had to face in life but I will keep surviving if for no other reason than: I am frikkin awesome!! Through every hardship I knew for sure that I had three people who […]

LackadaisicaL wHimsy

I’m not quirky enough to be an oddity, I can just make being unpredictable and lazy sound fanciful. unique Can you appreciate that I couldn’t just say “crazy and lazy” thus I’m now Unpredictable, Crazy’s drug addicted niece? That is some funny timing though, I just get off of the phone with Demi, my “fun” […]

aLL the sobeR ladies, too(2)

This is the “Continued” portion of the TBCed aLL the sobeR ladies blog post I literally just published. I got cut off my the post which I didn’t know was a thing and now I do! Here’s to experiences and learning from them!! That sentence sums up the biggest flaw in the Women for Sobriety […]

aLL the sobeR ladies

I found a page called Women for Sobriety and they approach the Program a little bit differently than Alcoholics Anonymous which follows the 12 steps and 12 traditions, instead they promote their “The Program” aka The Women for Sobriety New Life Program (WSNLP to me now) and that involves 13 “Acceptance Statements.” They promote a […]

day 22 – revised silhouette

I found this quote and it has me perplexed. I’ve been trying to simplify it in order to define its meaning. It seems really obvious but then doesn’t seem to add up. Below I take the long way through my thinking and writing process to decipher this little gem. Word for word substitutions: Existence/soul/survival is […]

day 13 – got this

bumbled mumbo-jumbo jive turkeying outchya chops topsy-turvy I am beyond exhausted but doing very merrily. Cause of exhaustion:Yesterday my Auntie Demi called me to ask a favor which she was embarrassed about but, while it hasn’t been my experience (except with my dad), family should help family if they can so I felt she shouldn’t […]

Day 4-10 – m.i.a. oops

I slept. I went to work from 6:00 am to 2:30 pm and then I came home and went straight to sleep until the following morning. That is the comedown from methamphetamine – a lot of sleeping. Thankfully not much else for withdrawal effects otherwise; a little depression usually but not so much this time […]

Day 3 – floundering

My brain is mush, I can’t seem to form full thoughts.All I want to do is sleep and eat and eat and eat and eat.Part of what gets me back to using is gaining weight. I hate gaining weight. I love being thin! Do I eat healthy to maintain my preferred figure? Of course not! […]

Day 1 – ready or not.

So grateful for having work to go to today because I would have been struggling to not go pick up and once again postpone the inevitable if I had been sitting around the house. I didn’t want to leave work, really, I was enjoying being productive and keeping myself busy. I didn’t even crave getting […]